


Angel

by Bucky_Loki_Girl



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Depression, F/M, Loki Feels, Loki Has Issues, Loki Needs a Hug, Reader-Insert, Sad, Sad with a Happy Ending, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-03
Updated: 2017-04-03
Packaged: 2018-10-14 08:34:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10532781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bucky_Loki_Girl/pseuds/Bucky_Loki_Girl
Summary: Imagine stopping Loki from committing suicide.





	

I laid on my bed, dark thoughts clouding my head. I hadn’t seen Loki in a couple days, which was unusual. We lived on the same floor and I knew he hadn’t gone to Asgard, given that he can’t return without Thor with him. I walked by his room every day, not hearing a sound. Never heard his door open, nor any music or TV. Heck, I don’t even think I’ve heard the shower running. The others don’t seem to notice his absence. Truthfully, they probably enjoy him not being around them. I wasn’t there when New York happened, but they’ve held a grudge for years longer that I would find acceptable, especially since Loki has been nothing but well-behaved since he got here. He was one of the first people I opened to after my rescue from a human trafficking ring. I joined the team after my rescue, since I had helped Bruce patch the team and victims up on the ride back. They agreed that it wouldn’t hurt having another medic, and the offer of a job and housing was too good to refuse. Unlike the others, Loki understood my need for space, yet my need for company. He visited me every day, simply sitting on the chair or couch in my living room with a book. He never pushed me to talk, though he did encourage me to take care of myself. He stayed with me at night when I couldn’t fall asleep after nightmares. We grew close, but right now I feel as if we’ve never met. I needed to go see him. I rolled out of bed and shrugged on a hoodie before making my way to his door. I knocked on it, hoping to hear some movement inside. A few moments of silence later, I knocked harder. The continued silence concerned me.

“FRIDAY, is Loki in his room?”

“Yes. He has requested to not be disturbed.”

I grumbled to myself before entering his room anyway. Why leave the door unlocked if you didn’t want company? I walked in to darkness, curtains drawn and all lights off. It was eerily silent, which put me on edge. Walking around, it looked as if his room hadn’t been touched in days, a light layer of dust covering his belongings. I walked over to his bedroom door, which was cracked open, a small peak of light coming from the attached bathroom.

“Loki,” I said. “Loki, are you there? I’m coming in.” Everything was quiet, as if there wasn’t a living soul around. Loki’s bed was disheveled, the mirror was cracked, and most of the room also had a layer of dust.

“Loki?” I said softly as I pushed the door of the bathroom open. The image before me brought tears to my eyes. Loki was sitting on the floor of the walk-in shower, cuts littered his arms and chest as his dagger laid in his hand, stained in blood. The other hand held a gun, his finger resting on the trigger though it remained at his side. He looked dead, but the slight shaking of his chest told me he wasn’t.

“Oh my god, Loki,” I said, slowly stepping towards him. His eyes flicked for a moment, landing on me briefly before he looked away. I kneeled beside him, gently taking the dagger and gun from his hands. Unloading and dismantling the gun, I set the pieces on the toilet lid and the dagger in the sink before grabbing the first aid kit in the cabinet underneath. I also grabbed a towel, wetting it so I could clean the blood off. I was quiet as cleaned his cuts, wincing every time he flinched. None of them were deep enough for stitches, and luckily there weren’t any cut arteries. I bandaged them up carefully, looking at him occasionally. He stared ahead, as if I wasn’t even there. After patching him up, I repacked the kit and kept it out so I can take it to Bruce later to be restocked.

“Loki, sweetie,” I said, grabbing his pale hand gently. “Let’s get you to bed and get some food and drink in you. Ok?” He nodded weakly before standing slowly, wincing a little from the pain of his wounds and lack of muscle use. I helped him remove his blood-stained pants, leaving him with his boxers before helping him lay in the bed comfortably. I kissed his forehead before making my way back to his kitchen, making a platter of meat, cheese, and crackers along with some glasses of juice and water, sticking straws in them. It was something light, but heavy enough to help build his strength. I put everything on a tray before returning to his room. I sat beside him carefully, trying not to jostle him too much. He looked at the food for a few moments before looking at me.

“Come on Lo,” I said softly, lifting the glass of water to him so the straw was at his lips. He leaned forward, slowly drinking the water before pulling back and nodding. Setting the glass down, I made a tiny sandwich of meat and cheese between two crackers. Loki moved his hand slowly, taking the stack from my hands before feeding himself. He encouraged me to eat with him, so I did, though I didn’t eat a lot. Once he was done, I moved the tray to the side table.

“You should sleep Loki,” I said. “Do you want me to stay?” He nodded softly before laying down, laying and arm across my lap as he laid his head on my stomach. “FRIDAY. Could you play my Soft Instrumentals playlist?” The quiet music filled the room, calming the atmosphere. Loki was out like a light, the sound of his steady breathing adding to the music. I busied myself by running my hand through his dark locks and looking at my phone. A couple hours passed when a knock came to his door.

“Brother,” came a voice, obviously belonging to Thor. I carefully removed myself from Loki’s hold, replacing my body with a pillow. I closed the bedroom door slightly before heading to the main door. I opened the door to see Thor, hand raised to knock again.

“Oh,” he said, giving me a soft smile. “Lady (Y/N). How are you?”

“I’m fine Thor,” I said, my voice staying low. “What do you need?”

“I haven’t seen Loki lately and came to see if he wanted to spar. Is everything ok?”

“Yea,” I lied. “We’ve been binge watching movies since yesterday. He fell asleep during Sweeney Todd a couple hours ago and has been out since. He was the first to fall asleep surprisingly. I haven’t felt like leaving, though I need to sleep myself.”

“Alright,” he replied, still smiling. “I will leave you to your fun and slumber. Tell Loki my offer still stands after he wakes up.”

“Will do Thor,” I smiled. I closed the door quietly before returning to Loki’s room. I grabbed the tray and returned to the kitchen, setting it in the fridge as it is after covering the food. I returned to the bathroom, reassembling the gun quietly before tucking it in my hoodie pocket. I took my socks and hoodie off before climbing back in the bed, returning Loki to his previous position. I continued to play with Loki’s hair, mind racing at what happened. I must’ve dozed off at some point because woke up when Loki moved away from me.

“(Y/N),” he said weakly, looking at me. He was still pale, but he already looked better.

“Hey Loki,” I replied. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m…not sure,” he said with a shrug, immediately wincing at the pain. I looked him over, noticing fresh blood staining some of his bandages.

“We should change your bandages,” I said, sliding off his bed. He looked down at his chest and arms, confusion etched on his face.

“Did you…”

“We’ll talk about it later Lo. Right now, we need to get you cleaned up.” I helped him out of the bed and over to the bathroom, sitting him on the toilet lid. His eyes widened as he took in the sight around him. Blood stained the shower floor and some of the wall, as well as some of the aid kit. His dagger sat in the sink, and he was unsure what happened to the gun he had. We were silent while I patched him up other than the occasional hiss of pain. His wounds were already better, but some were still raw and open. It would take some more rest and food for them to heal properly. After we were done, I ushered Loki back to his room, pulling out clean boxers, lounge pants, and a loose shirt for him. I left so he could change in private, choosing to return to the kitchen and grab the tray I had made earlier.

“You presentable Lo?” I asked softly outside his door. A soft ‘yes’ came from him as I entered the room. He sat on the bed, shirt held in his hands.

“I need help, getting it on,” he mumbled quietly. I set the tray on the side table before helping him into the shirt, biting my lip as he grunted in pain. I helped him get settled on the bed before joining him, grabbing the tray and setting it between us. We ate together in silence, my playlist still playing in the background. Once the tray was empty, I took it to the kitchen and refilled two of the cups with water before heading back to Loki’s room. We sat in silence for a little while, neither of us wanting to bring up the elephant in the room.

“Where is the gun?” Loki asked, breaking the quiet.

“You don’t need to know,” I replied, receiving a look from the prince.

“Ok.” We were silent for a couple more minutes before he spoke again. “Why are you here?” I turned to him with a look of concern.

“I was worried,” I answered. “I hadn’t seen you in days which was unusual. I came to check up on you. FRIDAY said you didn’t want to be disturbed, but you left the door unlocked so I came in anyway. When I found you in the bathroom…you looked dead.” I took a deep breath, trying to hold back the tears coming to my eyes. “I don’t know what’s wrong Lo. I wish I could’ve helped you sooner. But seeing you there, all cut and bloody with that gun and dagger, it scared me. I was terrified, Loki. I was glad I got to you before you used the gun, but I can’t help but feel like I failed you. I should’ve come sooner. You looked dead, hollow. You barely looked at me or acknowledged anything I did. I thought I was going to lose you…” Loki was quiet, taking it what I said.

“I…I have no words. No excuse,” he said, taking my hand in his. “I'm not sure what came over me. But it seemed as if all my inner demons decided to lay waste to my mind all at once. I wanted them to stop, to be quiet. Everything I did only made them worse. I don’t remember much of what happened either, like I did it all in a daze. I…” Tears started to fall from his eyes as his voice cracked. I moved around a little so I straddled his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck loosely as he cried into my chest and neck. I ran my hand through his hair, pressing light kisses to his head.

“It’s ok, Lo. We all have our inner demons. You’ve heard and seen mine. You don’t have to face them alone. I’m with you every step. I’ll be by your side for every battle.” His crying slowed down after a while, and he pulled away to look at me. I cupped his face in my hands, thumbs rubbing against his cheekbones. “I can’t lose you, Loki. You mean too much to me.” I pressed a kiss to his forehead before pressing my forehead against his. A few seconds later, I felt Loki’s lips on mine. The kiss was soft and short, but it seemed to take our breaths away.

“You were my rock,” he said softly, pulling away to look me in the eye. “You were the reason I never pulled the trigger. My demons, they tried to use you against me. Saying that I was nothing to you. That I’d never be enough, never be what you deserved. But my heart told me otherwise. My heart told me that if I could win the war in my head, I could face you and finally confess the secret I have held inside. I have loved you since we met, (Y/N). You were so strong, even after all that had happened to you, and when everyone else rescued with you huddled in fear and relief, you worked hard to make sure we were all ok. You never treated me like a monster, like a villain. Every day, I fell more in love with you. I could not stop the effect you had on me. And I am truly sorry that I did not fight harder.” I kissed him again, wiping the tears that fell from his eyes.

“It’s ok, Loki. You’re ok. The fact that I got to you soon enough, that you are still here with me, is all that matters. I won’t leave you. Just promise me that you won’t leave me.”

“No darling,” Loki said, pressing kisses along my neck and jaw. “I would never leave you when you are at my side. It would be foolish of me to do so. With my angel by my side, I am stronger than ever.” After a few more kisses, I told Loki to rest while I cleaned the bathroom and did a couple of errands. My to-do list took a couple of hours, but once I was done, the two of us moved to my room, needing to escape the negative energy that still lingered in his room. We supported each other from that day forth, battling our demons and celebrating our victories together.


End file.
